Additional Reasons for Happiness (If You're Not Polish)

Please raise a glass to not being Polish (unless you're Polish):

you don't have to deal with Polish pseudodiplomacy, you're not dependent on those people's whims. Since your legal needs are not sabotaging their deepest desire to sit on their asses and do nothing all day, you are already so much better off.

Without going into all the disgusting detail, after waiting for our appointment for an insane amount of time and paying through the nose for the legal proceedings and ceremony, we learned that we cannot set the date of our own wedding. The date will be announced to us perhaps on the phone, who knows, some three or two weeks before the wedding, that is maybe, you never know...

Having told me and Mr. G. as much (after we had paid, of course), the official smiled and said: "Don't worry, we'll let you know at some point. I guess it's an important day for you."

No, you know, not at all. Let's all relax and screw it all, because it's not like we have jobs or any sort of responsibilities, and certainly the witnesses and guests don't have any of those stinking job-things. Also, we all spend our days hanging around Manhattan, so no one needs to book anything. No one has to fly to NYC, why we'll walk over water to get there for the ceremony. We'll put on our seven-mile boots and get there in five minutes, so actually, I don't even have to know when it is exactly. You can tell me on that day just as well. I will come in my bathrobe and rubber boots, au naturel, and sans photographer or flowers. And as for hotels and such crap, I suppose we can stay under a bridge, it will be like camping. Fun, fun, fun...

#@&!!!%

I never had a fantasy about my wedding day being 'the most beautiful day of my life.' But that doesn't mean I wanted it to be the worst. As scandalous as it may sound, I wanted it to be a good day on which I sign a bunch of documents and then me, my brand new husband, and our guests go and have ice cream.

I never would have guessed everything would depend on a bunch of knobheads who first cheat me out of money and then try to make it all impossible, disgusting, and sad.